be strong.

"We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us." - Edward Lewis

Reading through old books tonight, finding sleepy notes, bent corners and pages marked for rereading at later dates. Moving always brings mixed emotions for me. The relief brought on by a fresh start contradicts feelings of nostalgia as I sort through my past. Tonight has been quiet. Three solid hours of peace.

And just like that she wakes in a panic when she realises I am not by her side.

I cant say that I blame her. I seem to wake in a similar fashion these days, vulnerable, reaching out for you in an empty bed. Be strong.

So life as of late: old books, plenty of walks, cider mill, tanger, bed before midnight, more time spent playing, less time compulsively cleaning, baking, quiet conversation and more sleep. The result is smiling chubby cheeks, love and a very messy apartment.

I sometimes wonder if in my contentedness with the simplicity of things I am really just settling out of fear of trying for something more, something better. The dictionary says yes.

"To settle: To accept in spite of incomplete satisfaction."

I guess we're all settling then.

Every time I think about what I truly want I end up in the same place, day dreaming about a happy family on a farm, Delilah and daisies.