"Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces."
I am writing this from my apartment. Our apartment, our home, our place of residence. We have successfully moved. I'm not sure how but we did it. I guess it's true that where there's a will, there's a way. I found a place, packed, moved, and unpacked all with a baby on my hip and a cell phone to my ear, consulting my husband every step of the way. I wont say I did it all alone but I will say, I DID IT and I lived through it. We have a roof over our heads, in a safer area. No more worrying about break ins, or the roof collapsing. No more fears of electrical fires to keep me from sleeping at night when it rains. We did it.
South Lyon is beautiful. It's green and quiet and and everything I would hope for in a place to raise our daughter. Our plan is to use the next two years to rebuild the foundation we need to stand on our own. The first step was a roof over our heads, the next will be bankruptcy and the next will be a newer, family safe vehicle.
I catch myself saying I or my a lot lately as opposed to we or our. I am half of a pair, a couple. I am a wife to a husband who happens to have an awfully hard job that keeps him away. Away for unbearable amounts of time. Whenever I say this to people, they treat me as if I am a widow. I never know how to respond.
Delilah is napping in her crib. I am enjoying the peace while it lasts. We are both feeling rather defeated by her two lower teeth that are choosing to come through simultaneously. We walked to the store today and then to lunch. She had eggs and hash browns for the first time. The eggs were a success but she wouldn't touch the hash browns. I wished Emerson were there. She is so much like her father. I can't wait to see them together again. No one else can truly appreciate the blessing that is Delilah quite like he or I. I can't count how many times this week I have wished he were here to watch her grow.
I've been trying to keep her busy, and keep myself busy as well. We've been to the beach twice in the last two weeks. I took her to the park last week. She loved the swing and kicked her legs with every push. On Monday I took her downtown. I had planned on changing my address at the post office and then going to the doll house with her but little did I know, they are closed on Monday's. The book store was closed as well. I went into the consignment shop but I felt lost and out of place. I haven't thrifted in so long. I found myself feeling very overwhelmed by all of the stuff as soon as I walked in. Not knowing where to begin, I walked one quick lap around the store and left. I had planned on asking the girls at the counter about reselling some baby items but they were talking amongst each other so I didn't. They stopped to stare at me as I fumbled awkwardly trying to push my stroller out the door. Social anxiety: 1, Christine: 0.
Busy. I'm always keeping busy. Trying to pass the time. It's very conflicting at times. I want the time to pass more quickly so I can see my husband again yet I want the time to pass more slowly so my daughter will not age so fast. I want. I want. I want.
Delilah is awake now and shouting for me. In the last few days she has stopped saying "Mum, mum, mum.." when she wants me and resorted back to yelling belligerently until I come to her rescue. I am so tired.
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